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Bubblesgate

I'm going to post here what I posted on SimSecret:

I can't speak for anyone else, but please don't be offended on my behalf. The issue was taken up privately with the people who were closest to "Bubbles" long before she posted her public confession. If you're wondering why there's not more tears for this shocking revelation, it's because the people who were most hurt by this have already had their resolution with her in some way or another. Don't take this as me defending her actions or asking you not to condemn them; I was the one who caught her in the first place and confronted her about it. It would just be appreciated if the people who were never really involved didn't act like they were.

And an addendum:

I wanted to deal with this quietly because I knew people would be jumping on the hatetrain for reasons that had nothing to do with the actual pain that's come out of this. If you haven't heard about this from me or someone else before the public confession was posted, then you don't know all the details or how the people who were most emotionally invested feel. You haven't talked to "Bubbles" and "Derric" and "Connor" almost every day in real-time for the past month and heard the full extent of those lies. You don't know how she was caught or what has been shown and discussed in private. You don't know how those ten or so people who were told first reacted or even who those people are. Even if I'm dead wrong in the way I went about this or the conclusions that I've drawn, I still know more about this than you, and chances are if it wasn't for me.... you wouldn't know anything.

Speak for yourself, how you felt about being lied to, but don't speak for me.

Comments

( 27 comments — Leave a comment )
momentaiguy
Jul. 23rd, 2011 03:38 am (UTC)
I'm behind you all the way, Skell. Like I said in chat, there's no easy or ideal way to deal with a situation like this, but I think you've figured out the best one.
(Deleted comment)
jenga218
Jul. 23rd, 2011 05:04 am (UTC)
I am in agreement with this post, so much that I really don't have much to say. Those of us who had a reason to get mad got mad. Everyone else is just looking for a reason to bitch. And simsecret provided that outlet.
clarejosephine
Jul. 23rd, 2011 10:17 am (UTC)
Hi Jane. "Everyone else is just looking for a reason to bitch." I don't know why I got so touchy over this, but I'd prefer if 'everyone else' wouldn't be used if you don't want others to speak on your behalf as well. I personally haven't because no one can speak for anyone but themselves, but somehow thanks to commenting on simsecret post I got more involved and interested than I have at any point really been, but saying 'everyone else' meaning those not close to Bubbles (if I'm reading that correctly) have simply one bad reason to say anything to it is just as unfair as a person uninvolved going OMG HDU U HURT POOPLE when you guys are done with the stuff :) Lying like that provokes a reaction. Several sorts.

Also haven't had any coffee. But yeah. Did this make any sense? :D
skellington7d
Jul. 23rd, 2011 11:25 am (UTC)
Io, some of the stuff you said was pretty hurtful to me. I just feel like I'm being judged for not publicly freaking out over this. Confronting her and getting her to confess was the only thing that got me to feel better about this whole mess, but now I don't feel better anymore. It's getting overwhelming and being accused of "head patting" did not help.
clarejosephine
Jul. 23rd, 2011 11:53 am (UTC)
I apologize for putting it in a hurtful way, should have thought more before typing. I am sorry. In no way was I accusing you, or truly accusing anyone. I simply disagreed with the comments on her confession post, the "you are awesome" sort some wrote there. That is head patting in my eyes, even if the intention was only to compliment the courage to fess up to the rest of the community: it is easy to read as 'oh no worries, lying like this doesn't matter, let's be friends so you can carry on with the same'. Again, not you, and only my point of view. And perhaps I do have some emotional investment on the topic of lying and trust. I didn't get personally hit with this, I don't think Bubbles should be torn to shreds any more than the next person, and I understand her reasons. However I'm not on principle alright with what she did (doubt anyone is), be the reasons whatever.

And most people judge based on what they see and read, without caring to find out more - their business or not. I hope my late night commenting hasn't put me in the same bag in your eyes. I admire how you've handled the whole situation and again, I apologize for being part of making you feel bad about it. I'll stop butting in now.
skellington7d
Jul. 23rd, 2011 06:01 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :)
hooptytrib
Jul. 23rd, 2011 05:07 am (UTC)
You were great! I never can remember whether to cut the red wire or the green wire. This comm could use more defusal experts such as yourself. (It could also use some easier bombs.)

Don't worry too much about the shit-flinging chimpanzees; in non-extenuating circumstances they have the attention spans of gnats.

(Oops. That was rude. I will apologize to the next gnat I see.)
skellington7d
Jul. 23rd, 2011 05:31 am (UTC)
If anyone has a right to flip out over this it's you, Dr. Phil. If you can keep your cool, I don't see why people who have absolutely no involvement in this can't.
silenzii
Jul. 23rd, 2011 05:56 am (UTC)
I followed all your posts about "Bubbles" but since I had no idea who "Bubbles" was I didn't feel I should post something in the occasion.
I hope you be well, dear. You definitely didn't deserve this, but this is one of the things that are very common in the sims community. >hug<
(The sims community never cease to amaze me.)
charamei
Jul. 23rd, 2011 12:02 pm (UTC)
Thank you for your handling of this. I don't know any of the people involved, but I've seen enough similar things go down in other fandoms to say that you've done an excellent job.
nabila_ici
Jul. 23rd, 2011 12:15 pm (UTC)
Slightly irrelevant comment, but:

Do you happen to be a history enthusiast? The title made my inner historian (... rather inappropriately, I think) smile. :3

Anyway, I have nothing to say on the matter, but since I feel the need to spread hugs and love everywhere - lots of hugs and love for you! <3
skellington7d
Jul. 23rd, 2011 06:02 pm (UTC)
Heh, I'm the daughter of a history enthusiast so I may have picked some of it up. Thanks! :D
sentate
Jul. 24th, 2011 11:51 am (UTC)
Haha I noticed this too! At work we had a mini war and it was dubbed 'shampoogate' by one of the stylists.

I think you've handled this really well, and really graciously too. I think everyone will have an opinion regardless of their involvment (In your place I'd be spitting out fire, but due to my lack of involvment I personally I have no serious emotional response, other than I cant understand why someone would lie at all, let alone in such detail.) The first thing I did when I saw her apology was zoom over to your LJ to see if you were ok, but you'd already ammdended your post.

I'm glad you are being so kind and civil about this, and I think its a good example of how to act when people wrong you.

I just really hope that this one incident will not dent your faith in the community, as it purely was just one
skellington7d
Jul. 24th, 2011 12:21 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Sentate; I appreciate your concern for me. ^_^ I kind of knew this was inevitable, but seeing it play out was still provoking, especially since the issue had mostly been resolved privately and rationally before it went public. (With the exception of one closely tied friend who came back to this today after having to leave right when "Bubbles" went into the hospital! I can't chastise her for spitting fire!) I personally can't stay mad for very long; I've been told it's 'cause I'm too prone to empathy, but I don't know if that's true. My faith in the community is not dented; the optimist in me was just kind of hoping they'd deal with it better.
freudroid
Jul. 23rd, 2011 10:54 pm (UTC)
Although I enjoy your posts and stories, I don't know you. When you made public post about Bubbles and her condition, I had a very emotional response, because someone very close to me(she practically raised me, I call her my second mother) is going through a very similar situation in her pregnancy.

I can understand you being hurt by other people's reactions to this situation, because certainly those closest to her have suffered the most. Yet, the implication that those who don't know her have no place feeling hurt or angered is perplexing. Is it wrong that people who were asked to sympathize with someone they didn't know then felt hurt when that very person was found to be courting their feelings dishonestly? Your last sentence seems perfectly reasonable, but much of what was written above gives me the sense that I'm poseur on the hatetrain rather than an emotional bystander.
skellington7d
Jul. 23rd, 2011 11:49 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry that that happened, and my part in it. I think anyone has the right to make a post about how they feel and felt in regards to the confession. I don't think anyone who was legitimately hurt by this is jumping on the hate train. I'm just tired of people being smug and self-righteous about things they know nothing about, using me and my friends as an excuse to be that way, and assuming anyone who didn't break out the torches and pitchforks is totally okay with this. But none of that applies to you, and I'm sorry my post made you feel that way. There's been a lot happening behind the scenes, but it's not your fault for not knowing that.
freudroid
Jul. 24th, 2011 12:26 am (UTC)
Thank you for taking the time to respond, I feel that I better understand where you're coming from. The pretense for getting out pitchforks is rarely justified, if ever. I can see why you'd feel frustrated. There's no need for you to be sorry, I believe I just misunderstood you and some of your friends here - I'm appreciative you took the time to clarify. I wish you all the best.
antimaccassar
Jul. 24th, 2011 06:31 pm (UTC)
What a nightmare! I must say I am very glad I missed the whole fiasco. I hope you are doing ok with it, and I think you have handled the whole thing with decorum. *joins Nabila in showering hugs*
greygoldgriffin
Jul. 24th, 2011 07:27 pm (UTC)
I did see your earlier posts about the person, and didn't reply firstly because I don't really know her or have had any dealings with her, but also because one of the comments from her 'friend' made it very obvious that this was a faked thing. This subject hits a raw nerve for me, the pregnancy not the lying, and for that reason I felt it wasn't my place to comment on any of your posts regarding her.

I'm not trying to make an 'oh I knew it all along' comment but I just wanted to say that I think you are handling it just fine. Regardless of how close you got to this person, and how betrayed or hurt you feel, that is your business, to handle how you see fit.
medleymisty
Jul. 24th, 2011 08:45 pm (UTC)
I totally get that for those who were more involved, their mileage will differ. It's just with my history with the community, my first reaction was to try and protect someone else from the hell I went through with SimSecret.

I think you're handling it perfectly fine. My beef is with people who weren't involved at all who'll say hateful hurtful nasty bitchy things just because they can, just because they like to hurt people, just because they get their kicks from being abusive on the internet.

My reaction has a ton more to do with my years of being attacked myself in the community than with anything else, and I'm sorry if anything I said hurt you.
skellington7d
Jul. 25th, 2011 12:43 am (UTC)
I didn't have a problem with anything you said. I agree with you!
(Anonymous)
Jul. 25th, 2011 06:41 pm (UTC)
As much as I love your story, I just have to say:

Maybe you were a really good friend to Bubbles or something, but everyone lies. I know you said that you "made amends" or something, but still.

So you're telling me - us - that you've never done something that is less than favorable on the Internet?
(Anonymous)
Jul. 25th, 2011 07:05 pm (UTC)
Sorry - It's from the same Anon
Hi there Skellington7d. I'm sorry about what I said earlier...I just was a little upset that so many people were saying such horrible, awful things, about a poor, and obviously fragile sixteen year old girl.

I just want people to have consideration for one another - I wasn't intending on targeting you by yourself - mainly the 'haters'.

Sorry.
skellington7d
Jul. 29th, 2011 12:22 am (UTC)
Re: Sorry - It's from the same Anon
I think you may have misinterpreted what this rant was about; most people think I was too soft on her!
(Anonymous)
Jul. 28th, 2011 05:24 am (UTC)
I'm not going to tell anyone who I am - I mean, I really just don't want anyone freaking out over it so I'm gonna let that be.

I didn't know Bubbles or her "accomplices". But something like this happened to me, but kind of different, because I wasn't really posting it. I know my rep is so screwed up nobody will believe me, but this is the first time I've told anyone this and I want to get it out. To my biggest inspiration.

A girl at school had been messing with me, my friends and at the time the person I considered the love of my life by turning them against me just because I was stealing her popularity. Mind you, at my school the "popular" kids all were Simmers, they all played Portal and Pokemon and shot videos for YouTube. I thought she was my friend. Not my best friend, who chose to stay out of it as she had a home situation going on and didn't understand tech stuff to begin with - she was a yaoi enthusiast.

This girl went and took the guy who was keeping me "normal", aka, not depressed, as I have been for many years, and plied him over one summer into a hate machine. I don't know how and I don't want to know how. He would play games with my head, whispering to me over the phone how much he loved me while at school totally shunning me. I had nobody to turn to, nobody to trust, not even my parents who were once again distant and neglectful to my feelings. My bestie was gone away, dealing with her life. I let her be. The counsellor treated me like I was two, and didn't understand. I was stuck.

I entered a new school that year with all the rest, due to a change in the grades, planning on having the time of my life in a new building with great teachers. This girl went from sweetheart to bitch in .005 seconds the second she saw that I had convinced the guy to treat me nicely again. She "innocently" came over, and while I was upstairs finding a CD she went onto my computer and got my login info for the forum I posted on, and changed the password so I couldn't get in. I never knew it was her for a year or so after that, until she told me.

In that time, I became very depressed. My life got worse and I had literally nobody as I watched someone else post on my account, using my facebook statuses (which I still wrote myself) and photos (again, I still took myself, as she was only on that forum) along with many other backups like blog posts, etc. She was ruining my life online and at school and I snapped one day. I just - snapped. She had posted photos that I didn't take - she did, yonder ago - and went too far, as they were of something very personal I won't discuss that had long since ended in loss.

This entire story was horribly told, but they still believed her, and I didn't even know who was writing it. After they accused her (posing as me the entire time), she told me and I flipped. The guy was in on it the entire time, and I was physically ill every time I saw him after that day. They had ruined my only home, the sims community. She even went so far as to mention my new YouTube account, after she deleted my old one.

Over a year later, I look back on that time and think what I fool I was to trust her. This girl may be lonely and I'm not hating on her, but you never know. She could have been someone else entirely.

maevikinz
Mar. 12th, 2012 05:53 pm (UTC)
It's sad when people lie.
This actually kind of reminds me of a girl that I met in kindergarten. We were "friends" up til about the sixth grade, when I started feeling a little suspicious. I had an idea I liked, she shot it down, even though it was MY idea and had nothing to do with her. I draw a picture of what I think a dragon looks like? She looks at it and says "That's been done before." I write a story, she says it's lame. I work as hard as I can on something... And it isn't "good enough". I thought, wait a minute, I can't suck THAT much, can I? I wrote a story and gave it to my english teacher, and he said it was great. Then the class had to write essays for a lesson, and we all turned them in. Then I got a letter saying that mine was the best in class. I didn't get it, and I thought he'd sent everyone in the class those letters to make them feel better... A little while later I started roleplaying. I was getting weirded out by all the positive comments I was getting. "So... I'm unoriginal and these people... internet friends, people I have never met before, in my life, liked my story? Haven't they seen it before? Somewhere?"

A few days later, my mother gave me this little wooden ball. It wasn't fancy or anything, but I loved having little trinkets (Which I kept losing...). That girl invited me over to her house, and I brought my ball. I set it on the coffee table, and we played hide-and-go-seek (I never got to pick the games...). When it was time for me to go, I gathered my things. I picked up my wooden ball, and she said "What are you doing with that?" I told her it was my ball and that I was taking it back home with me, but she said "No, that ball has been there for, like, ever. My grandfather gave it to me before he died." I was confused. I ended up asking her mother, and she said that they didn't own any wooden balls and that the one in my hand was mine. That girl tried to take advantage of my forgetfulness and STEAL something from me. But I wasn't really mad about the wooden ball. I was mad about all the times she said I should feel sorry for her, that I was her only friend, that her grandfather died and both mine were alive. I realized, sadly, right then, how gullible I'd been. She had friends over before, I just hardly saw them. She restricted me from doing things because I was a "Little Girl" (Three and a half months younger than her, to be exact). And, worst of all, she'd made fun of me, who I was, behind my back. Suddenly, it all made sense. People who made fun of me, who bullied me, because I was weak... small... wierd... and lonely... She was the one to blame. She told them lies about me, and seeing as she was my "only friend" they believed her.

After I stopped answering calls, going to her birthday parties and inviting her to mine, she made fun of me in front of my face. Loser, I was, in her eyes... And I didn't harm her at all! Nearly everyone wanted to be her friend, everyone, but me. I hated her, and she hated me for it. Looking back on it, if I hadn't befriended her, my life would be different. Much. After the bullying got out of hand, my mother started homeschooling me. I roleplayed more, wrote my stories as I pleased, sometimes posting them on the internet for feedback from people I didn't know. And you know what? They called me brilliant :)
( 27 comments — Leave a comment )

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